


Of poison and venom

by SuperiorJango



Series: The Cantiga of the Witch [1]
Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: And In English too, Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Luz Noceda Angst, Luz Noceda Needs a Hug, My First Work in This Fandom, Post-Episode: s01e18 Agony of a Witch, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26154079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperiorJango/pseuds/SuperiorJango
Summary: I'm poison, always destroying anyone who gets close to me. First it was dad, then my mom, and now Eda. How long until I destroy the rest of them?"After Eda is captured by the Emperor's Coven, Luz reflects on how she has hurt the people around her.
Relationships: Amity Blight & Luz Noceda, Eda Clawthorne & Hooty & King & Luz Noceda, Eda Clawthorne & Luz Noceda, King & Luz Noceda
Series: The Cantiga of the Witch [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906228
Comments: 5
Kudos: 67





	Of poison and venom

**Author's Note:**

> So, Agony of a Witch hurt everyone, huh?  
> I had this idea after watching the episode. It's just your average angsty, sad fic where I put a bunch of headcannons on how Luz feels after losing her mentor.  
> 

I'm poison, always destroying anyone who gets close to me.

First it was dad, who left before I was born. Mamá said it was because he wasn't strong enough to take care of me. I believed her, she's my mom after all, she would never lie to me. But then I tried to contact him. He told me he would never love me. He told me to stop bothering him, to leave him alone. He had two daughters he really loved and appreciated, unlike me. I was a little black stain in his life. Something to forget.

Then my mom. Now I realize I was never the perfect daughter and I'll never be. Always letting her down. Always getting in stupid problems. How many times did she have to school because of something I did? How many times did she have to leave her job, just to beg the principal to not expel me? Promise after promise that I'd behave better, that I'd try to act like a normal kid. Because I've always been a weirdo. The other kids were always making fun of me. Of the idiot girl unable to distinguish reality from fantasy. Always alone, always on my own, with no one to talk, to hang out with. I could see the pain in my mom's eyes when she noticed I had no friends. Because it hurt. To think her daughter was some kind of antisocial freak who was always going to be alone.

And eventually, she gave up on me. Sent me away to fix everything was wrong with me. Because there's something very wrong inside of me. Something that made everybody else hate me and despise me. But even if it were for my own good, I failed. I failed my mom. I failed as her daughter.

And then I arrived to the Boiling Isles, hopefully thinking I had found a place I could be myself. I could achieve my stupid, childish dream of being someone relevant. Back then it sounded like an impossible dream, a human witch was never heard of, but I ignored the little voice in my head telling me mom had spend a lot of money to send me to the camp, that mom had really high hopes on me and I was being selfish by staying here.

And for a while I really thought I could be someone. I found Willow and Gus, the first friends I was able to make in my whole life. I lived adventures with them, always succeeding at anything we did, and getting out of troubles with no damage done.

Except that it wasn't the case.

How many times did I hurt them? I almost got Willow expelled when I tried to sneak in Hexside, posing as an abomination, my poor friends almost got _killed_ when I couldn't tell them the truth about not having the house available and those demon hunters threw us from the cliff. Gus lost his position as president of the Human Appreciation Society because of me. They were captured by the Bat Queen when I hurt Owlbert and broke his little head. They were shrunk by Grimm Hammer and almost got eaten by his tiny horrors. _Carajo,_ Willow got her memories burnt, of her childhood, her parents, all just because I wanted some shenanigans to happen. Amity was right. I'm always prying into my friend's lives, never really caring about them until the very last minute, when I saw the disaster they're in.

Oh, Amity.

How much did I hurt her in the few weeks I've been here? She got in troubles with Bump. Because of me. She made a fool of herself in front of all of the Emperor's Coven and everyone saw her as a cheater. Because of me. And the whole library thing? I saw her most intimate thoughts, almost got her killed, and everything thanks to my low self-esteem and desire of having "cool friends". I endangered her siblings, almost got her killed, again, because I didn't want to listen to... And the whole Grom thing? I was supposed to be her fearless champion, I was supposed to protect her from Grometheus. And I failed. She had to save me like the useless and pathetic girl I am. And now she's hurt, with a broken ankle because, again, I always want to pry into my friend's lives. Even when they ask me not to.

King comes next to me, sensing I was feeling down. He doesn't say anything. He just snuggles next to me and looks at me with his big eyes. I could see they were puffy and red from crying. He lost his closest friend in all of the Boiling Isles. When he's sad like this, it breaks my heart. More now, knowing that he's suffering for something I did.

I pet his head. I try to say something but a knot in my throat stops me. He was always there. My first night in the Isles, he slept with me, maybe because my sleeping bag was comfortable, or because he knew I was probably feeling lonely. Even when he said he was the "King of demons" and that mighty and powerful demons like him felt nothing towards lesser beings, he was always with me. Trying to keep me company. Sometimes he rambled for hours and hours about how his life was before I showed up. Sometimes he slept next to me so I could scratch his belly.

And how did I repay him? I ignored him whenever he tried to share his knowledge about demonic history. I treated him like a baby or a pet when I knew he always had this problem with his self-confidence that made him be so attached to me. But I never took that in consideration. We used to spend most of the time he wasn't with _her_ together. Talking, having our comedy hour or painting something. Then I entered in Hexside and I almost completely forgot about him. What kind of friend I am that I forget about him the moment I found others to be with?

Tears threaten to show. King notices this. "Don't worry Luz, we will rescue Eda and everything will be back to normal."

The moment I hear King being so hopeful is when I lose it.

I start to cry again. Noisier and uglier. King freaks out and hugs me. 

With all the people I hurt before, I never expected to hurt Eda the most. I betrayed her. I sent her to her own doom. I've been acting so recklessly, I always put others in danger. But Eda was always there to save me. From the puppet monster to the Emperor's Coven guards to Grimm Hammer. And the one time I tried to help her with something, she ends up in the hands of the Emperor and locked away, her mind gone and transformed in that damned owl beast. She always trusted in me, she always knew how to help me, but I never had the chance to repay her. I only ended up making things worse. Her last words still haunt me. A horrifying reminder of how badly I fucked things up. "And Luz, thank you for coming into my life." She love me so much, she was willing to _die_ to keep me safe. And I love her so much, I'm willing to do the same.

And now I have the chance to make things right.

I stop crying. King looks at me. And I tell him my plan to save Eda. We both know it's dangerous and foolish. After all, what can a small demon and a human girl do against the most powerful witch of the Boiling Isles?

Nothing but try.

We finish on the last details of our so called "suicide plan". I'm sure King is ready to die fighting, and he expects me to save Eda and escape together. But I know the truth. I'll do anything to make things correct this time. Even if I can't come back. After all, Eda has known King far longer than me, she won't miss me as much.

We decide to have a little sleep. The Emperor's castle is far from the Owl House and we have to be at our best to have a chance to succeed.

We wake up to the first rays of sunshine. King grabs my cloak and I start to draw as many glyphs as I can. I think of all the things that could and will go wrong when we raid the castle. But I stopped caring, I only want Eda back. Even if I'm not there to watch it.

We go to the kitchen to grab something to eat before going to the castle. Then Hooty's voice tells us that there's people outside. I freeze on the spot. The Emperor's guards are here to arrest us? Or maybe it's Lilith trying to finish what she tried to do at the castle? Hooty cuts off my thoughts by saying my friends are waiting for me.

I feel my heart drop. I don't want them to be involved in all of this. They have a bright future ahead of them. And I don't want them to risk it and be branded as outlaws because of me. King gazes at me, as if he wants to ask me about our next course of action. I go to the front door and let them in.

All of my friends are there. Willow, Gus, Ed, Em, Viney, Jerbo, Barcus and Amity.

Before I have the chance to say something, they hug me. Had I anymore tears to cry, I would break down right there. But instead I stay silent as they tell me soothing words of comfort. No doubt the news of Eda's imprisonment had already spread throughout the Isles and they're worried about me.

I let them finish. King tells them about our plan of rescuing Eda and they all look at me as if I were crazy. They know it's impossible to breach the castle's defenses, not to mention free a criminal from there. But they don't care and start to tell me the many ways they'll help me.

We can cast an illusion big enough to fool the guards.

I can fly us there using Puddles and the abominations will keep the guards entertained.

I can mix potions to make us invisible.

My plants can open the way for us and help to fight the Coven.

No matter the solution they come up with, I can't allow them to come. I have to, no, I need to do this alone. I refuse to hurt more people. Amity looks at me, as if she could read my mind. "Luz..." She starts to say something, but I interrupt her.

"Thank you guys. I couldn't have asked for better friends than you. But I can't risk losing any of you." I say this while looking at all of them. My eyes stop at Amity, who looks back at me.

Let us help. It's better if we all go together. We don't care about getting in trouble. Bark. We always wanted to be outlaws anyways.

I smile. I hug them profusely, knowing it may be the last time I'll see any of them. And thank them for everything they have done for me. I begin walking to the door before Amity stops me. "Luz, please. I can talk to Lilith, I can beg her to show mercy towards Eda, but don't go alone."

I try to ignore her, but it's difficult, oh God, it's so difficult to ignore Amity when her voice sounds so _broken_. So _pathetic._ "Sorry, but I already lost Eda. I can't lose you too."

"You have helped us so much, let us repay you." Gus's voice sounds so hurt it makes me almost cry.

"Come on Luz, there's strength in numbers, you know?" Ed says this trying to keep a cool demeanor although his eyes betray him.

"And it's not everyday when you can storm the Emperor's castle." Em continues, keeping the same facade as her twin brother.

"We are more than glad to help, you help us before, it's fair we help you now." Viney says, trying to reason with me.

"Please Luz, you know, we know, that it's impossible to rescue Eda by yourself." Willow says this, tears flowing from her eyes.

Amity then yells at me. "Going alone is a stupid idea, it's a suicide, do you want to die?!"

I look at them one last time. "I don't care." My final words shock them enough for King and me to get out of the house.

"Hooty! Close the door and don't let them go!" King shouts at the bird demon who locks the house.

They're trapped inside the house, I can hear their cries of plead.

"Luz! Let us go, please!"

"No! Please, please, don't do anything stupid."

"Hooty, open the damn door!"

"I'll blast the door if I have to!"

"I can't lose you, please!"

I ignore them. And begin walking with King to our demise.

I may be poison to my friends and family.

But today I'll be venom to Lilith and Belos.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I hope you enjoyed this mess, any comment is appreciated, now, it's the first time I write something so big in English, I'm an English teacher in Mexico, but I think I messed up a lot of things, so anything you can tell me to improve is helpful!  
> Have a nice day and take care!!


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